Prayer

I cannot stand 

seeing you this way

In pain and hurting

I'll do everything

to take it away

but I don't know how

So right now

I ask God to please

give me your pain 

Let me suffer in your behalf

Let me cry your tears

*Image from journalofsacredwork

Pillows

I still smell you. Hmmm.

-

-

I woke up with your 

scent on (our) my pillows.

I knew we fell asleep together

because it is only with you that

I get to sleep this late and this safe.

Your arms around me promises me

a good night since that is all that I can ask.

You see, I'm afraid to ask for more. 

I don't want you to say no.

I will never be content with only this.

So I better muster my courage and ask,

Even if it means that this will be 

the last time I can smell you 

when I wake up.

-

- 

*Picture from 1.bp.blogspot.com

Held

-

-

I held the hand that is

 planning to let you go. 

It was dry and rough

 unlike the other that still

 remembers your love of long ago.

 I felt its frustration about you,

 of the way you always made

 sure that tomorrow will not

 come for the both of you.

 I heard its silent cry of

 goodbye and I grew sad.

 On the other hand,

 it was still hanging on,

 reminiscing celebrations

 and victories.

 The happy times linger

 like it doesn't want to live.

 I heard all the secret whispers

 at night and all promises made.

 Both hands wept.

 A catharsis of the highest order. 

A pill so that no one goes insane.

 I looked at the mirror and

 saw rivers of tears.

 I looked down and 

saw my hands clasped together,

 the other looking out

 for the other.

 A symmetry of giving up

 and holding on.

 The riddle of love.

-

-

*Picture from 4.bp.blogspot.com

I don't care!

This is stupid! but I really don't. Do you?

-

-

It's burning me all over again

Like it once did before;

And the days after that,

Searing my flesh with

Electric goosebumps

Fit to kill a man

Fit to kill me,

But I don't care;

I don't think;

I love.

-

-

*Picture from images.sodahead.com/blogs

To Better Days

Everything will come to pass.

-

-

Raindrops caress my skin 

the way you once did;

 cold and numbing,

 back then i thought

 your touch in time

 would make me warm;

 but  it never did,

 you talk about things

 you never truly understood

and blamed it on me 

when you got it all figured out;

I took a deep breath;

Psyched myself up that

there is nothing wrong

About being drenched .

Define BUSY?!

I was always telling myself that I'd find time to post my poems here but to my dismay I never did. I got so caught up with my new job (technically not so) and all the activities that came along with it. I never taught that teaching in a university would use up all of my time. Anyways, I promise to update my blog as soon as I get my internet connection fixed (cross fingers). :)

To make up for my long absence here are a few lines that I have just made up:

I was looking for you
But you weren't there
When you told me you'd be

I was trying to hold your hand
But it was another's that held mine
Where are you?

Please come back to me
I am not myself without you
I'm you the same way you are I.

-
-



Sorry this is bad. LOL :)

Crossroads

Sandwiched with maybes and ifs.

-

-

I'm feeling better,

The kind of better that keeps

Me on my toes;

The kind of happy that

Makes me smile, a bit;

It is the emotion that is between

Euphoria and Anxiety

In the midst of laughter and tears;

It is the victory that never

Lets me shot for joy

Because I never know

If am really sure;

It is the kind of love

That never lets me sleep at night

Although I'm dead tired and weary;

It is the moment when

I wake up prematurely

When I just dreamed about my crush;

It is that time in my life

When I chose the kiss

Even when I know that 

It wasn't going to last.

-

-

*Picture from http://www.sleepdisordersguide.com

WHY

-

-

I've been feeling so down lately and I just want to let it all go here. Since almost all of my posts here are from those not so good days.

-

-

It was so hard letting you go

It took me forever

And I tried fooling myself

That I was successful In doing so

But deep inside I know I wasn't

But I lived with it

Taking each day as it comes

Moving you into my periphery

Into the sidelines but you're still there

And when I felt that I'm finally making peace

With our past, I was happy

It was a bittersweet victory

But a victory nonetheless

Then you came back in the picture

Offering a second chance that I really didn't need

And yet I took it wholeheartedly

With what's left of it, that is,

Good thing I took notes

During the first time I was moving on

I believe that I have to do it again

You are hurting me with your distance

And indifference 

Please do not comeback.

I don't want to go through it all over again.

-

-

*Picture from shejustnotthatintoyou.files.wordpress.com

Downpour

All the good stuff?! Right.

-

-

I woke up

With the sound of raindrops

And I immediately

Thought of you

And of that day

When you shook me

Off my slumber 

And told me that raindrops

Should be our models in loving.

With a sleepy confusion

I asked you why

And you answered with

That lopsided smile 

And a hint of mischief in your eyes,

"They're not afraid to fall,

 In fact that's not all they do;

 They also give and return."; 

"Give and return what?" I mumbled, 

"Love, blessings, happiness?

All the good stuff." 

I looked at your pillow,

At your side of the bed,

And wished it was summer.

-

-

*Picture from

Nightmarish

-

-

When nights become

Unbearable and the

Heaviness of the moonlit 

Sky weighs down on me

 I start willing my

Mind not to think 

Of anything

To make my body

Numb, even lifeless 

To a degree

I try very hard 

Not to breathe

Or move because

I fear that any sudden

Movement no matter

How small

Will connect me to 

My thoughts;

That I don't want 

To think about, 

To my dreams;

That is now haunting me, 

To my heartache;

Who brought upon me

Nights like this,

And to you,

Who tortures me 

Because you are not here. 

-

-

*Picture from 4.bp.blogspot.com

Touched

-

-

I tried holding my hand once

Not because I felt cold

Or it has gotten dirty

I did it because 

I was trying to get back

To that time in the past

When all I ever did was

Love you the best way

I could

It was a phase when

I woke up with butterfly kisses

Moments when I breathe

What you exhaled

It was during those nights

That I loved you the most

I felt connected

Not only to you

But to us and to a future

And yet no matter how long

I held my own hand

I did not feel you there.

-

-

*Picture from besilentbestill.wordpress.com

Wiped Out

After 5 months, I saw you. But you didn't see me.

-

-

I saw you today

Wiping the windows

Looking so strange

I saw you today 

Huge distance between us

When I'm only 

A few meters away.

-

-

*Picture from http://www.totalclean.co.ukg

Lapses

Stop to think. Think to stop. 

-

-

There are still times

When my mind goes empty;

Free of thoughts and dreams,

Of fears and failures,

A state of complete blankness

Utter absence of all

And like the first rays

Of the sun at dawn

Thoughts of you

Shine on me

Haunting my mind

Like a plague,
An infestation of sorts,
A slow painful death,
With a cure but not a hope.

-

-

*picture from farm3.static.flickr.

Elusive

Will you answer me?

-

-

If only I was there

And he wasn't

Would you have chosen me?

If only I kept you

For myself

Would I be enough?

If only you weren't there

When I cried

Would you even notice me?

If only I had the courage

To tell you how I feel

Would everything be alright?

-

-

*Picture from spicecomments

Perfume

Hmmmm.....I still smell you.

-

-

Inhale, Inhale

That's the first

Thing I do

When you pass by

Making sure my 

Lungs breathe in

The only part of

You that I can have;

You're scent clung

To me the way dreams

Resurface the first

Time I open my eyes,

But like the natural

Process of the world,

I'd have to let you go,

And so I exhale,

Almost,

Saving some of 

Your smell inside me,

The only part of you

That I can have.

-

-

*Picture from mediabistro

Cricket

Go ask!

-

-

You ask for light

Not because you are

In the dark;

Nor because you are

Feeling lost;

You ask for it

Because you want

To get the name

And you want 

To be asked

What's your's;

I got both,

Only because

I asked for light,

Thrice.

-

-

*Picture from flickr

Tacky

Sometimes someone you don't know makes your night.

-

-

Orange shirts are tacky

That's why I seldom wear them

But when I saw you

I never saw your shirt

Or the color it was in

I only saw your face

And for the rest of the night

I felt like a teenager again

I wanted to stop looking

But it is so hard

I envy the bottle of beer

You were holding

I wished it was my hand

Clasped between your fingers

That night I felt that

Somehow, somewhere

A person will look at me

The way I was looking at

The owner of that orange shirt.

-

-

*Picture from diytrade

96

Ifs makes us appreciate what we currently have and have not. Agree or disagree?

-

-

If by chance you decide

To forget me

Then, by all means

Please do

Because when that 

Time happens

I wouldn't even know

Who you were

Or what we had,

It would surprise me

To know that you 

Have forgotten me

When I don't even know

Who you are.

On the other hand,

If that won't happen

Then I'll do everything

For you to remember me.

-

-

*Picture from 3bp.blogspot

Síndrome de la letra de amor

Las letras de amor son duras de dejar para ir. Especialmente cuando no estaba para usted sino usted deseo era.

-

-

Si solamente su letra para él puede decirle

cuántas veces la he leído, 

cuantas veces le sorprendería

Me he lastimado haciendo tan.

La hago porque quiero cerrarme los ojos

y oiga su voz en esas líneas.

La hago porque me imagino que ésos

Amo yous estoy realmente para mí.

-

-

*Picture de los primeros 47

Love Letter Syndrome

Love letters are hard to let go. Especially when it wasn't for you but you wish it was.

-

-

If only your letter for him can tell you

how many times I've read it, 

you'd be surprised by how often

I've hurt myself by doing so.

I do it becasue I want to close my eyes

and hear your voice in those lines.

I do it because I imagine that those

I love yous are really for me.

-

-

*Picture from thefirst47

Intoxicated with You

-

-

I tasted something awful

But I know it is familiar,

Reminiscent to broken dreams

And bitter tears,

Synonymous with 

Crazy celebrations

And first borns;

I figured out that 

I'm having a hang over

Because of too much alcohol,

Too little of you

I woke up with vodka 

In my stomach;

I woke up with you

In my heart.

-

-

*Picture from benjaminmiguel

Desire

-

-

I want to kiss you

But you are so far away,

What do you suggest that

I do then?

Should I stop thinking 

About you?

And forget you?

I cannot do that!

I guess I'll just

Continue on dreaming

About that kiss

Until that day 

I can finally

Make it real, 

Until then I'd have 

To content myself

With visions of you

Laughing with me,

Loving me,

Hating me,

Crying with me,

Snoring with me,

And being with me,

I'm so looking

Forward to that day,

Are you?

-

-

*Picture from badatsports

My Valentine

-

-

6,679 miles 

Of salt water, 

Dessert and hills,

Rain forests,

And rice terraces;

10,748 kilometers

Of raging rivers,

Plateaus and cliffs,

Murky swamps,

And cobbled roads;

13 hours and 21 minutes,

Of turbulent flying,

Of navigating 

Treacherous shores,

Of coursing through

New found terrain

And lonely homes;

That's how far

You are to me,

But my every heart beat

Does not agree.

-

-

 

*Picture fromlamberdebieflowers

13

-

-

I saw you yesterday

And I feel like my life

Is totally about to change,

Though I'm not yet sure

If it's for the better,

But I like changes

Change is good

And everytime 

I look into your eyes

I see a probable future

Of holding hands

And whispers at night;

Of breakfasts in bed

And waking up late on Saturdays.

I saw you yesterday

And thank you for seeing me too.

-
-
*Picture from free-extras

Out of Reach

This is one of the most painful ironies ever. What do you think?

-

-

We sat beside one another

Yet we are so far away

The only thing that is near

Is my memory of being held

During those long forgotten nights

When all I thought about

Was the warmth of your touch

Not my pending paperworks

Not my overdue bills

I only thought of you

And I know that you were 

Thinking the same

But now, sitting here with you

I don't know if you are

Thinking about it too

You are looking 

Over the horizon

When you could have been

Looking at me

I wanted to touch you

To make sure that 

You are really there

But I stopped myself

I don't think I want to find out.

-

-

*Image from digitaledge

Hide and Seek

When do you stop looking and start waiting to be discovered?

-

-

I'm tired of looking

For that special someone.

The fabled creature

Of everyone's dreams.

The ever elusive 

Partner, or so it seems.

I have looked 

All around to no avail.

To my utter disbelief

and grave dissapointment

I have seen a lot

I have seen no one.

Comfort me then

Beloved self

For who else will 

Dry my forlorn tears

But the very hand it 

Lands on?

I'm going to wait

For that faceless being

To find me

When I'm not 

Even hiding

From anyone.

-

-

 *Picture from my22.files.wordpress

Nth Time

When was the last time you let go of someone?

-

-

I decided to let

You go - again.

And you know it

Is not an easy thing

To do especially when

I gave it up for you.

But I want you

To know that

I have no regrets.

I loved you and

You loved me too.

I felt it there sometime

When we were just new.

I tried letting you go

A lot of times before

But every time I wake up

It's you who I think about.

Please let me let you go.

I'll continue loving 

You though.

It would be hard not to.

But please if ever you

Think you will still love me

Love me the way that 

I will love you.

I will love you every time

I do the things

We did.

Letting you go will not 

Stop me from loving you.

Please let me let you go.

-

-

*Picture from mamajacque.blog.